It’s not them, it’s you. How to calm down when making art with your child.

If you get frustrated watching your child make art because you think they are not following the “art instructions” they were given, that’s because you are thinking like a grown up.

Toddlers make art in the moment. They are right here, right now. They don’t naturally do a lot of planning with their art. Most of the time, they are using their eyes and their hands and wondering, “what will happen if…?”

When grown-ups make art, we plan and we prepare. It’s a completely different process for us. So when an adult feels frustrated with the art process of a child, it’s simply because we are not wired to make art the same way.

When I plan an art project for the toddlers I teach, I picture a lever in my brain and I have to shift it to “toddler mode”. I can’t assume that a toddler will use a paint brush like I would. I know they will never make a series of dots on the page that are evenly spaced and all the same size. They simply won’t do that.

The toddler will want to explore what the new paintbrush can do. They’re going to press hard, they’re going to alter the shapes they make, and they’re going to “see what happens if…”

That’s developmentally appropriate for them.

Instead of feeling frustrated that the child is not making art like you planned it would look, go easy on yourself and them. Enjoy watching how they do things differently from you (their way is actually more fun).

It’s art. It’s not gonna hurt anybody. It’s okay.

Love, Naava

Naava Katz is an artist, educator, and advocate for creative kids. Find her on Instagram too.

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